Wednesday, July 05, 2006

South West Trains Policy

South West trains (SWT) get me from Byfleet to Waterloo everyday. They have introduced 'quiet' carriages that ask people not to use 'mobile phones or personal stereos'.

All fair and good. But I use both and I sit in the same carriage everyday. Each day the location of the quiet carriage is different, often it's next to the 1st class carriage, so to comply with this request I would have to move 2 carriages away from my prefered location. I won't do it.

Further to their request and to consider other passengers I think they should expand the list a little to include.

1. NO FARTING for christ sakes!
2. No reading of newspapers (invade personal space and are very noisy!)
3. No fat people who take up more than 1 seat and insist on squeezing into a seat made for a person 1/2 their size!
4. NO people with personal hygene problems e.g. those who don't own a toothbrush or can't bath/shower on a daily basis. Also to include people who ate curry or garlic the night before, especially after a number 5.
5. No people who are still a bit off after the bender the night before.

A few other things I noticed about South West Trains, when a train is running late the onboard computer generated display goes suspiciously blank.

Trains are supposed to close their doors 1 minute before departure. e.g. the 07:36am should close it's doors at 07:35. But it never arrives before 07:35. It is always at 07:36 or later, doesn't that make it late? The board says it's 'due' at 07:36 does that mean it arrives at 07:36 or is leaving again at 07:36? So when it arrives at 07:36 is it ontime or late?

Now, the 07:47, a mear 10 mins later, arrives on the platform 5-8 mins early and does close it's door early. I've been caught out about this. If I get on the platform at 07:46:35 I cannot board the train and they will not let people on. I have to wait 10-15 mins for the next train because they don't know what kind of service they are running - It does seem to chop and change at a whim to suit their ends and not those of the customers who are forking out a fortune for this service and the Directors of this company are laughing all the way to the bank.

I don't really care which one it is - I'd just like some consistency please!

I do find it ammusing now in the light of their rescent good results. The week after they announce their great profiteering at our expense. The reason is 'increased passanger numbers'. Yes, I know! I have to put up with overcrowding on my train on every journey of everyday.

I notice their trains are incapable of arriving or departing on time. I'm even more ammused at the 'congestion on the line excuse' and it seems to be caused by all the money blocking the trains on the tracks.

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